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Car Stickers are Telltale Tits

'News', stolen off the web somewhere ...

Car stickers are automotive tattoos that can give an insight into their owner's personality, says British motoring's RAC Foundation.

"The car sticker is a badge of belonging," says executive director Edmund King. "It distinguishes the tribe with which its owner identifies."

The RAC's "10 lost tribes of the road" are:

  1. Happy Family Tribe
    Sticker will say: Baby On Board. Chosen by drivers who may be insecure in other arenas of their life but are reassured of their self worth by announcing their fertility to the world.

  2. Eco-Warrior Tribe
    Sticker will say: Save The Planet ... Save The Whale ... Extinct Is Forever. Usually middle-aged individuals, often bearded, who talk about green issues at dinner parties but drive old-technology cars that pollute.

  3. Nimby Tribe
    Sticker will say: Save Our School, or Stop The Bypass. Most likely to be a desperate housewife married to an aspiring young executive who works long hours. She probably spends a lot of time at coffee mornings, PTA meetings and fundraisers, fending off boredom.

  4. Dreamer Tribe
    Sticker will say: I'd Rather Be Surfing (biking/hiking/skiing). Mostly accountants who think they are healthy, lantern-jawed, outdoorsy types. They are really introverts who just think about such activities.

  5. God Squad Tribe
    Stickers include: Love Your Enemies. They think they have friends in high places and feel superior by spreading the word to uninitiated commuters. But they often drive badly, believing they will be protected.

  6. Martyred Parents Tribe
    Sticker reads: Mum's Taxi, or Dad's Chauffeur Service. Enjoy making their children feel guilty about being driven around but secretly love every minute because it makes them feel wanted.

  7. Sportsmen Tribe
    Sticker declares an affiliation to a sporting club or activity, or shouts things like: Surfers Do It Standing Up." Mostly young male who drinks large amounts of beer, which renders them incapable of doing it at all.

  8. Political Animal Tribe
    Sticker identifies the driver as a political party supporter. Likely to be spotted on the cars of young political wannabes who fancy themselves as intellectuals.

  9. Country Tribe
    Stickers promote hunting/ shooting/ fishing and animal activities. Likely to be land-owning or horse-owning - or wish they were.

  10. Joker Tribe
    Stickers like: If You Can Read This I've Lost My Trailer ... Women Are Natural Leaders, You Are Following One Now. Drivers are usually dull individuals who wear novelty ties.