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Lowlites - Splitties - Thou's - Millions

Lucas - Prince of Darkness

You may well be aware that the Morris Minor uses a great deal of Lucas Electrical parts. But did you also know that Lucas is also The Prince of Darkness?!

Here are some facts that prove beyond a doubt that Lucas really is a force from the dark side...

  • Although Lucas denies having invented darkness itself, they still lay claim to "sudden, unexpected darkness"
  • Lucas, inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
  • Lucas, inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
  • The three-position Lucas light switch has the following settings: DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
  • Other three-position switches in the Lucas range can be set to: SMOKE, SMOLDER or IGNITE.
  • Lucas Electrical products are the original anti-theft devices.
  • "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob..."
  • Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
  • It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
  • Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.
  • The Quality Assurance department at Lucas phoned and advised the Engineering department that they were having trouble with the latest switch design shorting out. So they made the wires longer.
  • A classic car enthusiast peeked in the windows of a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?". The owner replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens anyway!"
  • Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
  • Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
  • Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
  • The (little known) reason why the English drink warm beer, is that Lucas also made refrigerators! (submitted by Gene Mallory)

Thanks to Rick Feibusch for posting this on the Morris Mailing List